I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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