i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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