yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
