the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
