idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
