shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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