Having a random hookup so left but love u
I puked a lego.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
