five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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