Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
