Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
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He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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