So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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