Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I think my moral compass just broke
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
