I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You can't motorboat a personality
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi