yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken