And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
