yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.