The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
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Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
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I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.