Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
