Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
