I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
