Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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