Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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