lets start a swedish sibling band together
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
