the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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