They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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