just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize