But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
