Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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