i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
