I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
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I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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