don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
