I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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