thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
True strength comes from lack of pants
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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