I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
