So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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