best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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