Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
