so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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