Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize