I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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