Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
