just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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