We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
