i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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