Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
