Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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