so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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