She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
