Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
