Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
