We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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