I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
