Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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