Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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