what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize