Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
