Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Soap is not a condiment
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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