after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
