My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize