You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
