so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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