after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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