Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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