i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
