Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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