whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
