kristin has been a bad kristin
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
