Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
