I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
