If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
