There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
