I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
